Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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