After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My balls are so social today.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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