Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
