I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
he high fived his dick after we had sex
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
