the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
