I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
