I love black thongs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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