Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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