if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
