Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
