Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you didnt know i had herpes?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
