I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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