i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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