Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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