I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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