You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
