why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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