Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
