You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
