She announced her abortion via fbk
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
