Taylor Swift is so right about you.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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