One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she pinky promised me she was 18
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
