you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
