i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
