Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
