oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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