I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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