I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
