Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
