apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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