Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
