I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
