I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
