she smelled like a LAN party
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
