True but thats because hes a fetus.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
