he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
