What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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