I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
