if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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