i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i have two assholes
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
