Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
