still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
50% drunk capacity currently
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
