I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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