So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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