**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
