Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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