Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
