just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
