i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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