i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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